Where is my love?

Beware of dating acquaintances.

The last date I went on appeared to be a good one at first. The guy was nice, tall, and handsome. He had brown shaggy hair that fell slightly over his eyes, a tattoo on his right arm of the outline of Florida, and wore tight, skinny jeans - he could have been an American Eagle model for all I knew.

Conversation flowed well as we both sipped on our Venti, double-shot, vanilla lattes with no foam, until the fatal question he asked that brought me back down to earth and slapped me on the face.

“So, I‘m just going to get this out on the table and ask you” he said. What could it be? I thought. Was he about to ask me out on another date?

“Would you like to try some cocaine?” he said.

Whaaaat???

I couldn’t believe the words that had just slipped out of his mouth. At first I thought it was a joke, but he was being completely serious.

He creeped me out so much that the date was over before the little receptionist in my head could scream…NEXT!

As my freshman year is coming near an end, I am baffled at my inability to find anyone suitable for a date. In high school, I wasn’t the most popular girl, but I did manage to score a date here and there.

In college, not only have I not found anybody worthy of a relationship, but the couple of people I have gone on dates with have turned out to be complete losers, like Mr. Cocaine Addict discussed above.

The thing is, I don’t even know where I find all of these losers. My friends have somehow managed to score cute and decent boyfriends. While me on the other hand, seem to be hanging out at the library by myself more and more.

“You have to go out more,” said freshman Elizabeth Gosein. “Go to clubs, parties - that’s where most of the guys are”

“Yeah, but I don’t just want to hook up with some guy for a night,” I told her. “I want something that will last.”

“Sometimes there are nice guys there - you just have to look for them,” said Gosein.

But I do look for them. I look for them wherever I go - the supermarket, the library, Starbucks, school, and just about everywhere. Not only that but I’ve also made a conscious effort to look better whenever I go out, in case I bump into my prince charming.

I’ve started to straighten my hair, wear more make-up, and I am even making an effort to lose the stupid freshman 15.

So what am I doing wrong?

“You’re worrying too much,” said freshman Clarissa Lowmark. “You have to just let it go and let it come when it’s supposed to.”

What my friend was saying was true.

In fact, on a recent article on the April issue of the Cosmopolitan (pg.84) psychotherapist Bella Dishell discusses that “if your only focus is on finding a boyfriend, your run the risk of coming off as desperate, a vibe that repels guys.
But when you feel at peace with yourself - you don’t think so much about how others can make you happy - you exude confidence, which is a magnetic trait,” said Dishell. “The key to getting to that place is focusing on the thing you got going for you and nurturing your interests rather than dwelling on what you lack.”

Still desperate about not being able to find a date, I asked some of my friends (with a significant other) how they managed to find their perfect guy and this is the advice they gave me on where to find my prince charming.

• The Gym (Arnold Swartzenegger): Guys like this one love to go to the gym and watch their muscles grow. They’re usually there for hours and there’s lots of them in one place. If you’re into these kinds of guys, make sure you start hitting the gym - not only will you get in shape but you’ll also increase your chances of finding your hottie.

• Whole Foods (The Hippie): If you’re a vegetarian and like guys with dreadlocks like me, then you should go to the Whole Foods Supermarket and get some tofu. It’s the perfect place to meet the healthy, anti-animal cruelty, peace & love, beauty you’ve always dreamed of. Trust me, you’ll love being a vegetarian even more.

• Barnes & Noble (The Intellectual): Barnes and Noble just happens to be the greatest place on earth if you love guys that love books as much as the opposite sex. Guys that hang out at these kinds of places are usually really smart but kind of shy. So if you want to find somebody like that, most of the time you have to make the first move. Try to start a conversation based on a book he’s looking at - trust me, it works most of the time.

• Rock concerts (Indie Superstar): I have met lots of guys at local shows. One thing though, most “rocker” guys smoke cigarettes, so if you don’t mind kissing someone that will taste like an ashtray - you’re set! These grungy, messy hair, tattooed beauties are usually pretty outgoing and if you catch their eye, they will surely approach you. Not only that but they usually play an instrument, what’s hotter than that?

Guys are everywhere. Don’t get desperate like me to have a dating life. It’ll come…I hope.

Bathing Suits and Underwear

It happens to everyone: bathing suit bottoms become underwear, socks become scarce, and jeans become crinkly and smelly -- but sooner or later you have to face the fact that you smell. After weeks of procrastination, its time to do your laundry.

“I don’t do my laundry,” said freshman Alejandro Garcia. “I go home during the weekends and let my parents do it.”

He’s not the only one…

In fact, I asked 15 freshmen if they did their laundry and sadly, only three of them replied with a “yes.”

Laundry has never been a problem for me (not that I even know how to do my laundry) but it’s just that before I even try to learn, my mom has already taken it out of the laundry basket, washed it, and folded it on top of my bed for me.

In all my 18 years of life, I have never done my laundry and probably won’t have a chance to do it until I move out. As a freshman I am considered an adult in the real world and I don’t even know how to do my own laundry -- how pathetic.

“It’s not that difficult,” said freshman Kareeme Shorter. “Freshmen are just lazy and we’re just used to our parents doing everything for us.”

But I need to start somewhere, so in hopes of learning how to do my laundry I went around and asked upperclassmen what they would do in my situation.

These are the responses I got:

• “Do not mix colors with whites.”

• “Don’t wash colors with hot water.”

• “Wash only the towels and underwear with hot water.”

It was all so confusing. My head hurt with all of the do’s and don’ts of laundry. Who knew it would be so difficult to wash my clothes.

So instead of giving you a “How to” guide on your laundry, I am going to give you a “How To” guide on how to prolong the horrible and annoying task of doing your laundry.

Hey, we might as well take as long as we can to do it. After all, we’re college students.

WARNING: The advice I’m giving on how to prolong doing your laundry will only work for a maximum of three weeks. Eventually you will have to do your laundry.

1. Only wear underwear when needed: Yeah, that’s right. Underwear is not that necessary. Unless you have your period, you can easily get away with not wearing underwear with those really tight, skinny, jeans you love so much. Trust me, your butt will look better and you will be saving clean underwear for when you really need them.
   
   
2. Tide to Go was created for a reason: Try not to spill things on your shirts and pants so that you won’t have to wash them, but if you do, use Tide to Go, and it will be the answer to your prayers. Just spray that little sucker directly on the stain and within minutes you’ll be clean again!
   
   
3. Dryer Sheets can save your jeans: To avoid washing so many pairs of jeans more than twice a week, put a dryer sheet in your pocket and carry it throughout the day. It’ll give your jeans that freshly washed scent and it’ll allow you to wear them more times throughout the week.
   
   
4. Forget about socks: One thing that’s really annoying to wash when you're doing laundry, are the millions of pairs of socks you probably own. We live in Florida buddy, it’s not like it snows here, that’s why flip flops and sandals are the official shoe of Florida.
   
   
5. Bathing suits are in: If you feel uncomfortable not wearing any underwear then by all means wear your favorite bathing suit as your new piece of underwear. They’re easier to clean, you can shower with them, and they would probably still go with your outfit.
   

Freshman under House Arrest

No, I’m not under house arrest…but certainly close to it.

My name is Irene and I am grounded - for a month to be exact. (You can stop laughing now.)

My friends have all taken the liberty of making me the practical joke of the day by laughing at me every time they see me, still in awe that I can actually get grounded at the age of 18 - well, it is possible…just ask my mom.

“You’re grounded for a month,” my mom said angrily once she found out I had wrecked the bank accounts.

I was in shock. I couldn’t breathe and I could feel my heart palpitating its way to my mouth. I pushed out the only words I could come up with.

“What do you mean?” I said. She gave me one cold look and replied, “It means, you can’t go out with anyone for a month - that’s what it means.”

And so for the past week my life has felt like something that was taken out of a scene from Groundhog Day. Every morning I angrily stumble out of my bed, take a shower, blast music in my car, get stuck on I-95, go to school, politely decline invitations to go out, come back home, do the dishes, do my homework, and repeat the cycle all over again the next day.

Long gone are the days of my so-called “college freedom,” of enjoying a curfew of 1 a.m., parties on Friday nights, and Sunday afternoon lunches with friends. Not to mention the fantastic Easter week sales that I’m going to miss thanks to my newfound lack of freedom. (Bye bye, Old Navy...)
“Don’t worry, I get grounded too,” embarrassedly admitted Karina Da Luz, a fellow freshman whom I’ve known since high school. “I think it might be because we don’t have any brothers or sisters.”

True, we don’t have any other siblings, but I thought grounding was more of a cultural thing. Ever since I was in high school, it always seemed that among my friends, I was the only one who ever got grounded. Sure, their parents got mad at them occasionally but never really grounded them.

I don’t blame my mom for being angry at me after what I did with the accounts though. Thanks to my poor judgment and my inexperience with money, I spent $330 more than what I had in my account. Now I owe the bank money, don’t have a job, and have absolutely no way of paying my mom back.

But grounding me? Isn’t that a bit extreme? No one even gets grounded anymore.

I was determined to prove that getting grounded was in fact a cultural thing - that maybe it was a “Hispanic” thing. I talked to eight other Hispanic freshmen who lived at home with their parents, asking if they still got grounded while in college, and to my surprise, they didn’t.

“Grounded? Is that a trick question?” asked Ana Valles, a political science freshman who was part of my survey. “I haven’t been grounded since I was in middle school, much less in college.”

At least she answered the question. All of the other freshmen I asked took the liberty of making me listen to their laughs and ridicule me for being the only person in college they knew was grounded.

I was wrong, it's not a cultural thing. In college, nobody gets grounded anymore - except for me, of course.

I now have to endure 20-something more days in my house while fellow freshmen are out and about clubbin’, partying, and enjoying freedom while I sit in my house watching reruns of Scott Baio is 46 and pregnant and eating buckets of ice cream.

I can’t wait to come back to the world of freedom, but for now VH1 is definitely my best friend.

Let's be Safe

Help - I’m scared!

I usually don’t pay attention to the emails that I get from FAU and on most occasions, they’re just one click away from the “Trash” icon in my email account. But just a couple of weeks ago, I received an email with an alarming subject from FAU that read: “University Timely Warning,” which of course…I just had to read.

The email said that there was another rape reported on campus.

I don’t live on campus, but when I read this email, not only was I scared for my own safety on campus, but for all of my friends and fellow freshman who live in the dorms.

In high school, nothing like this ever happened. Probably the “scariest” situations were the daily fights that erupted between students during our lunch hour. They usually lasted about five minutes and were more of a show than anything else - nothing too serious.

This is not the first time that FAU has gone through something like this. There were three other reports of sexual assault last year and one already this year according to an article by WPTV News Channel 5

“In the beginning of the year, I didn’t really pay attention to those stories because I was so caught up on living-on-my-own kind of thing,” says communications major Nadia Ismael. “But now, I’m actually scared for my safety and I’ve become obsessed with locking the doors in the dorms - I’m considering moving back home because of this situation.”

Unfortunately, Ismael is not the only one considering moving back with her parents because of the situation. There are other freshmen who want to move out of the dorms because of safety issues.

But whenever a rape is reported at a college campus, students get flooded with vague and useless advice. On the same WPTV News Channel 5 article FAU's Police Deputy Chief Keith Totten advises that “the most important thing that we always have to stress is, don’t put yourself in a compromising position and always have a friend close by who know what’s going on.”

Thanks, that really helps!

Police might as well be telling us to put on T-shirts that say "Don't rape me" because of how pointless their advice is.

So, forget about the "don't put yourself in a compromising position," advice and take a look at these pointers to feel safer on campus.

Night Owls: They are a service at FAU that offers to accompany you to any location on campus whenever you are alone or don’t feel safe. I've personally used them before and they have even waited until I get inside of my car to leave - plus it doesn't hurt that they also have direct communication with the Police Services Department in case of an emergency. Night Owls can be reached at (561) 297 - 6695

Code Blue Phones: You might have a cell phone, but what if it happens to die just when you need it. The Code Blue phones are located at various points throughout campus and there’s absolutely no way you can miss them. Use them in case of an emergency or when in need of information. They are direct lines to FAU Police Services dispatch.

Rape Aggression Defense: This program offered by the FAU Police Services Department and is designed to help women improve their self-defense skills and improve their chances for avoiding or survive assault encounters. For more information call (561) 297 - 3500

And in case these services are still not enough, I also have some tips for commuter students as well as resident students on how to be safe on campus and avoid dangerous situations:

Never Walk Alone: If you have a late night class and parked on the fifth floor of the Parking Garage, ask one of your friends to walk you or offer them a ride to their car. It’s harder to take down two people than just one person walking alone in the dark.

Have your keys in hand: It might not be cool to have your keys in hand 45 minutes before you actually even get to the elevator, but hey it might save your life. Some students like to take their time looking for their keys when they finally get to their car. Avoid dangerous situations by having your keys in hand and ready to open the door of your car. Don’t waste so much time looking for them.

Lock Your Doors: Seems like a “no brainer,” but as soon as you get in your car, lock your doors immediately, and try to not take a long time to get out of the parking lot or parking garage. Always have your phone on and in hand and make sure you check your surroundings.

Take a different route: Take different paths to get to your car or class. This will prevent offenders from following you and getting used to knowing where you're going to be at all different times.

Bombarded With Break Bonanza

Spring Break - defined as the one-week long recess from classes by the dictionary - is one of the most highly anticipated holidays for a freshman during the spring term. It is the time when we finally get to relax and shake off some of that stress from school and it is also the time to find out what a real college spring break is like.

Michelle Hetherington, a sophomore at FAU explains that her first college spring break experience wasn’t a boring one.

"My first spring break in college was a crazy one," says Hetherington. "It was the first time I could do what I wanted and I chose to go to Key West for the week and have fun with some friends - I don’t think I slept for five days straight."

If you recall your high school days, spring break may have been a little different. It probably involved lots of sleeping, visiting some distant relatives with your family, and going to the nearest beach with some friends and getting a tan on a sunny day - nothing too crazy.

But in college there are many more options than just visiting long distance relatives. The choices range from going to music festivals to volunteering your spring break away. Here are my top ten things to do on spring break.

1. Langerado Music Festival: If you are looking for a cool alternative to your spring break, then Langerado might just be it. This four day festival, held at Big Cypress Indian Reservation in the Everglades on March 6-9, will be featuring acts from the Beastie Boys, R.E.M, Matisyahu, and more. Not only do you get to listen to great music and sing along with your favorite artists but you’ll still get a tan and socialize with all kinds of people at the event.



2. Hike to Save the Environment: Get your camping gear ready because this is for you. The American Hiking Society, an organization that focuses on protecting hiking trails, is planning a trip during spring break to the Big Cypress National Preserve to perform trail maintenance in the hard-to-reach areas of the swamp. Only six to twelve volunteers are needed, so if you want to get involved sign up quickly.



3. Caribbean Partying: Sun Splash Tours, a website that will help you plan out the perfect spring break trip, is offering several great deals on tours and group deals to quick getaways in Cancun, Barbados, Jamaica, etc. They’re inexpensive if you go with a group, but still affordable if it’s just you and some of your friends. All you need is a bathing suit, some sunblock and you’re set for your college spring break.



4. Learn how to surf: I know it seems like a crazy idea because Florida is so flat and we don't really have big waves to surf on, but you can still learn. Florida Surf Lessons is a great little surfing school in South Florida that focuses on teaching people of all ages how to surf. It’s fun, it’s a new experience, and you can finally brag about knowing how to surf.



5. Check out some art: There’s an Antique and Collectibles Show running from Feb. 29th - March 2nd at the Americraft Expo Center at the South Florida Fair Grounds. The show will feature some of the best antique pieces for you to look at and you can have fun with friends and family.



6. Make a Kid Smile: There will be a Walk Now for Autism fundraiser on Sunday, March 2nd in West Palm Beach. It’s free, it’s fun, and it’s for a good cause.



7. Go Medieval with theFlorida Renaissance Festival: The yearly festival will be in South Florida until March 9th. Go back in time and dress up in your favorite medieval garb and enjoy the jousting knights.



8. Watch a movie in your car: Drive-ins still exist and if you just don’t want to get out of your car to watch a movie, then make sure you go to the Swap Shop Drive In in Sunrise. It might be a bit of a drive, but it’s completely worth it and you won’t have to deal with people talking in the back.



9. Plan a Road Trip: You don’t need lots of money to get out of the state of Florida for a week. Go along the East Coast if you can and see what you can find. There are a lot of cool places you can visit along the way and it’s a great way of bonding with your friends.



10. Go Camping: Just because you’re not 10 years old anymore doesn’t mean you can’t go camping. Florida Camping offers help in finding the perfect camping site for your needs. So grab a tent, cook some s'mores, and enjoy nature.
    

Remember, we’re in college now and part of our role in college is to start making our own decisions. Whether you want to camp out at a music festival for four days or party it up like many other students during spring break, it is still your choice to decide what you want to do. Don’t get caught up in what you think you should do for the class free week.

Virgin Nation

It happened every Monday morning in class. There were always little notes and whispers going around the room recording the many “hook up” stories that happened during the weekend.

In high school, most students took the liberty of bragging about how many people they had gotten "to know better" over the weekend. The reality is that it was all about a social status and whether you were "cool" or not - and bragging about sex was definitely the cool thing to do back in the day.

In college, most students would be considered non-virgins. We assume that everybody’s experienced. But many of those so-called "sexually experienced" seniors in high school are college freshman virgins and actually remain virgins throughout their freshman year in college.

So in hopes of trying to find out a small average on how many freshman virgins are at FAU, I took the liberty of conducting a survey of my own.

I went around the Breezeway on the Boca campus and asked 12 freshmen one of the most embarrassing questions you can ask in public: Are you a virgin?

To my surprise, nine of the freshmen openly admitted to being virgins and to not having encountered any sexual behavior whatsoever. In fact, three of them even went as far as to say they wanted to remain virgins until marriage... Whaaaatttt????

What I also found interesting about the survey was that four of the students were pre-med majors and two of them were engineering majors. I guess those long hours studying take away from their sex lives... good thing I'm a communications major.

But the bigger question is, why remain a virgin? I thought that was all college students thought about...

Rony Barzily, a freshman that was part of the survey, admits that she's waiting for the right opportunity to come up.

"It's not like I'm planning on waiting until marriage," Barzily says. "It's just that I haven't been in a serious relationship and I'm waiting for the right guy to lose my virginity to."

Hey, on the bright side, at least FAU is one of the safest places to lose your virginity in because according to a study done by Trojan condoms in October,
FAU is number one for being the most educated University in sexual health.

Thanks to our friends at Trojan and the FAU Today and Beyond Wellness Department - our local sexual health center - located above the Breezeway in room 222, who focus on teaching students about sexual health and of ways of being safe when it comes to sex.

"I'm not worried about being a virgin," says Clarissa Lowmark, another freshman part of my survey. "The time will come and I feel like I've learned a lot about sex while being in college anyway."

Fake ID consideration

Throughout your life, there are three important birthday parties you ought to have:

1. Your sweet sixteen

2. The day you finally turn 18

3. The day you are legal to drink : 21

When I got out of high school, I thought 18 was pretty much phenomenal. I could get into some clubs and still manage to not break the law. But now that I’m in college, I’ve learned that it’s not so wonderful to be 18 anymore.

I'm still considered a baby among upperclassmen, I still can’t go to certain bars or clubs, I can’t buy alcohol - much less legally drink it - and I still have to wait three more years until the glorious day of my 21st birthday comes around.

And now, I am considering getting my first fake ID.

Apparently, I’m not the only one trying to get a fake ID, either. According to a 2007 survey done by College Humor - a Web site that specializes in poking fun at everything college-related - 19 percent of freshman girls obtained a fake ID along with 26 percent of guys.

Even some of my very own friends are joining the club of fake ID ownership. On a recent vacation during winter break, they paid some guy $100 each for fake IDs. Their licenses now read that they’re 22 years old and that they’re from Texas (both originally from Florida). But hey, they look real and that’s all that matters.

“We can get in anywhere,” said one of the students. “We can buy liquor, go to clubs and bars, and nobody knows that we’re only 18 - it feels like we’re 21 already and it’s great.”

Even some of my upperclassmen friends have asked me on numerous times if I have a fake ID and they always seem so shocked and disappointed when I gently reply with a simple “no.”

It also turns out that you don’t even have to pay people to get you a fake ID. I can do it on my own, because according to this Web site, all I need is a scanner, a computer, laminator, tweezers, a razor and I’m set to start my new life as a fake 21-year-old.

There’s also a downside to having a fake ID, though. It’s not all glory and bar hopping on Friday nights. Keep in mind that getting a fake ID is considered to be a misdemeanor offense and in some states - like Florida - it’s even a felony.

According to Florida law, if you're caught with a fake ID, you can be fined $10,000, sentenced to serve up to 15 years in prison, and can be convicted of a felony. Which means that job you have been studying for in college would be practically gone with a record like that.

If you want to get a fake ID like I do, just be careful with the consequences you might face. Even I have to realize that this could get me in serious trouble and as much as I would like one, I will have to seriously think about it before I actually get one.